The culprit

“Oh, daddy, please, stop crying like a baby. It’s like… you know, totes pathetic.”

“H-How…? How can you…? How can you say that…?! You’re like the worst father ever!”

“Oh, sweetheart. This is like totes your fault, you know? I was like the best father you could have. I paid from every whim of yours. I even like let you get into this bullshit cult you call feminism. I paid for your worthless classes and everything. I even used some favors to get you out of those ridicule troubles you got while pretending to be some brainless Social Justice Warrior. OMG, I can’t believe you actually believe you were doing anything just by using your stupid social networks.”

“B-but…”

“What? Were you going to call me sexist, racist, or any stupid adjective from your brain watching cult? It’s like totes useless now, don’t you think? After all, it was you who choose to get some weird talisman from internet and used it to change us, so you could use my body to get you credit cards back. This is like totes unbelievable, you are already like a grown up woman, you know? And instead of acting like one, you tried a stupid childish plan that totes backfired you.”

“Dad…”

“Daddy, yes, you are “daddy” now. After all, that’s how you totes look like. This is you fault and you will have to live with it. Or tell me, who was the one that lost the medallion? It was not me. And who said that the life of women was worse than those of men and is now crying like a baby? It’s not me. So “daddy”, it’s like totes time for you to man up an act as the man you are now. After all, I’m like an actual strong and independent woman that won’t move a finger for the culprit of this predicament.”